Well it has been a very long time since I have posted a
blog, May of last year. A lot has
happened over that time. I am
happy to report that I have not lost any further functioning. I still cycle between good stretches and
bad, recently more good than bad.
However, the winter has made my interactions with life outside the home
limited to say the least. Inside
the home life is more active than ever, this place is always full of people
coming and going. I like the distraction
and it keeps me from being or feeling isolated. I have turned into the neighborhood Mom, a role I quite
enjoy. That being said, I do still
miss working. Not working per se,
but having a career and making a difference in the world.
Getting around independently in the outside world has proven
to be difficult and painful at times, but never so much as the day I bumped a
wheel well with my chair tire. I
encountered a couple that tried to scam me through intimidation. Stating that I had done severe damaged
to their SUV with my wheelchair, the pair verbally assaulted me. Trapped between my van and their SUV the
female came at me in my chair screaming and swearing while shaking her finger
in my face. They would not relent,
stating I had created several scratches the length of their car and knocked
their back light out.
Once a Good
Samaritan, also visibly physically disabled, came to my aid my nerves calmed a
bit and I called the police for assistance. The woman who came to help scratched down the make and
license plate number of the SUV, all while she tried to control her hand tremors. As the police arrived the couple rushed
the officer stating I was crazy and destroyed the side of the car. As they plead their case, the more they
said the deeper their hole got.
The officer then spoke with me and I explained simply that my chair was
not tall enough to have done the damage that was on their SUV. He asked me to roll over to it and
clearly saw my point. After
cautioning the couple about their statements based on his observations of the
damage/height discrepancy, they were then free to leave and go about their
business.
I would like to say that these people did not shake me and
that I am stronger than that.
Unfortunately the truth is that it did shake me to my core. I knew there were bad people in the world;
in fact I worked with the worst of the worst at Bridgewater State Hospital for
the criminally insane. However, I
was still completely shocked that anyone would target me as a mark. I was furious! I was never before afraid out there in
the world. I was strong and
confident, never did I present as a potential victim. After years of studying psychology and criminal justice
classes, I learned how to maneuver in this world while decreasing your chances
of becoming a victim of crime. Yet
here I stood. They tried to get me
to pay them for damage to their car with my wheelchair, even threatening to
call the police on me. This can
only be described as scumbag behavior.
It took a long time for me to process this event and come to terms with
the fact that we do interact with individuals such as these two on a regular
basis.
The ultimate lesson I learned from this encounter is that in
my time of need a caring, and also “broken”, woman was the one who came to my
aid. She disappeared while I was
talking to the officer and I never got to thank her for helping me. She did not feel weak or vulnerable;
she stepped forward and intervened to help a stranger in need. Perhaps she did feel vulnerable, but it
didn’t stop her from pulling over and getting out of her car to come to my aid.
This clarity made me whole
again. I am still me and whether
in a chair or not I am still me. I
stood up for myself (no pun intended) and I was not a victim of their crime. Ironically, I have more faith in people
than ever, I know that when I was in need the humanity in another made me
strong enough to carry on.
In fact many good things have come from this event. Being home more I learned some new
skills I had previously neglected due to not having the time. I have developed into a fairly decent
cook. (Those who know me well will
be floored by that revelation.) I have greatly enjoyed spending time with my
youngest boy who is interested and excited about cooking with me. In addition, our family has spent more
time sitting down with each other and sharing a meal, as well as “catching up”
with one another. My BFF and I have
started a new tradition awhile back.
We committed to each other to gather our families once a week to have a
meal together. We made this pact
after watching two of our friends, also best friends for decades, go through the
process of a long and horrible death, as one died from cancer. We decided we would never again take
our friendship for granted. My
contribution tothe dinner table has improved drastically.
I organized my “studio area” and began working with my
jewelry designs again. I have
really enjoyed researching different types of crystals, rocks, gems, etc. and
combining them in a meaningful and aesthetically pleasing way. This has resulted in a
significant amount of stock, something I struggled with in the past. This allows me the opportunity to
participate in craft fairs this spring.
I am really looking forward to this, I enjoy a good craft fair.
My take away is this:
Don’t let scumbags keep you down.
Have faith in humanity.
Be kind to each other.
You may never know that someone out there thinks you are a
hero!
