I swear the mental battle with this disease is harder than the physical one. It takes so much mental effort to mange the pain there is little brain power left over to deal with the rest of life.
This is most difficult during a flare-up. A flare-up is a term used to describe a sharp increase in symptoms that last for a period of time. Typically when I have a flare-up all of my symptoms increase but most difficult is the pain. When this occurs I am unable to walk at all, something I have become increasingly good at inside my home, and in turn this leaves me stuck inside alone. This then becomes a true test of my strength and mental health. I know both from professional and personal experience that isolation can have a detrimental effect on an person's psyche. This last flare-up was the toughest test I have experienced yet.
It was starting to show signs of spring, not like the past few years here in New England where it went from winter to summer in a day, but the real deal. I was so excited to begin a new season of sports with the boys. It had been a long tough winter and I had been holding this image in my head for months. Sitting at the field with a blanket and sunglasses as I watch them enjoy being outside again. I was able to get in a few games before the flare-up started. I was stuck in bed for over a week and was furious I could not get out of the house. I was angry that my body would not keep up with what my mind.
I was fortunate that I had enough support that not one day of school, not one game nor one practice was missed. I was able to do homework with the boys in my bed, friends came to sit with me and my husband held down the fort. In retrospect it is easy to see how lucky I am and stay positive, but when in the grips of it there were only glimmers of a brighter day. I am also fortunate enough to have learned along the way to have faith that "this too shall pass." Having said that, it was one of the most difficult things I have forced myself to do. That is why I am writing this blog today. I know how hard it can be to hold on to others when you cannot see through the darkness, but you must. It may seem an impossible undertaking but with the help of others you can make it through. If you feel lonely reach out. This world is full of people and most of them good. Sometimes asking for help can seem an unobtainable feat in and of itself, but if you have just a little faith in humanity you might just find I am right about this one.
Asking for help was something I really struggled with, I enjoy being the one helping others not the other way around. Unfortunately I spent many lonely times while I tried to manage on my own. Asking for help does not make you weak. Being too afraid to ask and not trying to reach out will make you weaker in the end. If you are battling something in your life that is bigger than you please consider my words and reach out.
This is most difficult during a flare-up. A flare-up is a term used to describe a sharp increase in symptoms that last for a period of time. Typically when I have a flare-up all of my symptoms increase but most difficult is the pain. When this occurs I am unable to walk at all, something I have become increasingly good at inside my home, and in turn this leaves me stuck inside alone. This then becomes a true test of my strength and mental health. I know both from professional and personal experience that isolation can have a detrimental effect on an person's psyche. This last flare-up was the toughest test I have experienced yet.
It was starting to show signs of spring, not like the past few years here in New England where it went from winter to summer in a day, but the real deal. I was so excited to begin a new season of sports with the boys. It had been a long tough winter and I had been holding this image in my head for months. Sitting at the field with a blanket and sunglasses as I watch them enjoy being outside again. I was able to get in a few games before the flare-up started. I was stuck in bed for over a week and was furious I could not get out of the house. I was angry that my body would not keep up with what my mind.
I was fortunate that I had enough support that not one day of school, not one game nor one practice was missed. I was able to do homework with the boys in my bed, friends came to sit with me and my husband held down the fort. In retrospect it is easy to see how lucky I am and stay positive, but when in the grips of it there were only glimmers of a brighter day. I am also fortunate enough to have learned along the way to have faith that "this too shall pass." Having said that, it was one of the most difficult things I have forced myself to do. That is why I am writing this blog today. I know how hard it can be to hold on to others when you cannot see through the darkness, but you must. It may seem an impossible undertaking but with the help of others you can make it through. If you feel lonely reach out. This world is full of people and most of them good. Sometimes asking for help can seem an unobtainable feat in and of itself, but if you have just a little faith in humanity you might just find I am right about this one.
