Funny Story... A Day at the Spa

So I promised to make you laugh and that last one was a downer so I am feeling guilty.  Decided to think of a funny one as a neutralizer...

It was my niece's birthday and I wanted to get her something special.  She is at that age when toys are stupid and she has everything a girl her age thinks is cool.
So I decided what is better that spending quality time with ME :)  I made her a cute little gift certificate that said I was going to take her out for a great day at the spa.  Well, this was back in the spring and with all that went on trying to find a house and increasing numbers of trips to the doctors we didn't get there until a week ago!
So I did all this calling around to make it extra special since it took so long...couldn't get in anywhere, literally.  I decided we would have to settle on the usual mani-pedi and just make it extra fun.  Made the appts, set it up with her and her parents, arranged child care for the boys (after all it was a girls only event) and we were gonna have fun damn it!
The day came, I grabbed 2 pair of flip-flops, a hot chocolate for her and a chocolate coffee for me, drove to her school and found a parking spot.  As I sat there waiting for her to come out, I had an awful thought:  "SHIT! Where am I going to park!"
You see it had been so long I forgot that all of the parking is on this wicked steep hill.  I sat and pondered what was around that area and see if I could park somewhere else.  I thought of a spot, she jumped in the car and we headed for a relaxing day at the spa!
I told her I had grabbed us each a pair of flip-flops so we wouldn't ruin our cute toes when they were done.  "Great, I forgot about that!"
We drive to my imagined parking spot and I told her about my idea and why we needed to park there. As we pull up, the building is gone and the lot is all taped off...Shit!
We drive past the place and notice a spot on the main street.  I turn around and grab it.  This means we will have to walk and roll for a short distance but it will be safe.  Not considering the fact that I will have to cross the steep hill... As we approached it I looked at her and she at me, she was carrying my coffee so I would have two hands and we made it across without too much trouble.
We get in the place and it has been all redone, including huge recliners with massage while you get your pedi done. Yay!!  BUT "oops we forgot the flip-flops!"
Well the obvious solution was she run back to the car and get them. I gave her my keys and off she went.  I got myself up into my cozy vibrating chair and stuck my feet in as her foot tub was filling in the chair next to me.  Time was passing and she was not back.  "What could she be doing?"  "Her bag is here, she is not texting." "What is taking so long, she couldn't have gotten lost!"  Then just as she came through the door it occurred to me, she set off the alarm and could shut it off! She looked so frazzled and cold...she hopped in the chair and began to tell me the story.
We had a great time and now it was time to go.  Well, for those of you who have had a mani-pedi you know what the number one goal is when you are walking and getting into your car, DON'T MESS THEM UP!
So, my feet are still lathered in lotion and in flip-flops (not a good combo to start with) and I don't want to wrap my fingers around the wheels of my chair, so I am trying to propel myself with just the palms of my heavily lotions hands.  Well, let's just say if you saw me that day you would have laughed your asses off.
So we reach the hill... I am using my feet and palms to the very best of my ability, however, it is extremely hard to get a forward motion when your flip-flops keep sliding off and you refuse to actually grab your wheels!  Half way across traffic is stopped and my left front wheel turns and faces downhill...OH SHIT!
I decide I must grab at least on the left and begin to turn upward, she get there as quick as she can to overcompensate for the hill, but she is holding our shoes and yes I was still nursing my chocolate coffee for all it was worth.  She overcompensated all right, I nearly headed out on to the main drag (as my Mom calls it) but then we swung back the other way and I was safely on the side walk, on flat ground and almost at my car.  "Whew that was close! Shit how are my nails?!"  No smudges, great!
We get to my car and I tell her it is freezing just hop in I got this.  I wheel around to the back and prepare to complete a task I have become very good at.  I open the back of my van, put my chair breaks on, and using my upper-body, lift up out of my chair and into the back of the van.  I sit on the edge, reach over grab my chair, fold it and swing it up into its space next to me in the back.
Well, this day it didn't quite go that smooth.  Mind you I am still being careful not to ruin my nails, so I carefully put my breaks on with my slippery palms, then attempt lifting up with just my palms and I was successful! I swung up and landed square in the back just as planned.  However, I was somehow also still attached to my chair, so when I went to sit upright my chair came with me.
Laughing hysterically I call to the front, "I'm stuck!"  But she has no idea what I am saying because I am laughing too hard.  Finally, I realize my jacket was somehow caught in my wheel-break!  Still trying to preserve my toes and hands, I reach over and attempt to unlock my break without actually grabbing hold of it.  Well, if you have ever used a wheel chair, taking the break off is harder than putting it on, especially when you are hanging upside-down out of the back of a van, with a piece of material jammed in there and laughing so hard your just praying you don't piss your pants as everyone is looking trying to figure out what the hell is going on.
As she is getting more confused, I yelled, "I got it!" and the van jerked and in went my chair!
First check the nails, I'm good, but I did apparently run over my right baby toes at some point along the way...oh well that might clean up.  I slowly walk using my car to stabilize me...with my slipper-ass palms along the van to the drivers seat.  I "hop" in and take a deep breath :)
"A wonderful relaxing day at the spa" I say, hoping she is not too traumatized by her oh so wonderful birthday gift from Auntie Johanna  :)